I have found more serenity in dropping what I know than holding on to it. My inner peace is deeply rooted on my conscious effort to understand, and I do not gain understanding by knowing. I gain understanding by listening.
I started to have migraine attacks in college. My mom always told me to drink 2 glasses of water, and lay in a darker cozy room, rub a special Chinese ointment on my head, and sleep. This never failed me. I always came out of it feeling much better. I asked my mom if this remedy was something the doctor prescribed. I was surprised to find out that it was something she just thought about, and worked for her so she thought it would work for me. I read up on this and found there is no real cure for migraines. And then I realized how truly powerful our minds were, because in simply believing my mother and her remedy, I was able to improve my condition.
This brings me to the topic I want to discuss briefly. I want to talk about what my work is all about. How it is made.
I realized how much I have stressed the importance of the heart over the mind. This does not mean however that the mind is destructive. This also does not mean that reason is not baked in my work. The mind can do wonders for us, as long as we stay centered.
Remember that inner harmony depends on a fine balance between all the elements that connect us with the Source. What we need to do is understand the mind's power to mold thought into reality, and controlling the force that triggers it to go beyond what is good. Free will plays a big part in the harmony of souls. Only the heart knows what is good for us.
I do not see my mind as my enemy, I see it as my friend. It helped me concoct sweet verses and stories for my own healing purpose, recipes that are baked with the warmth of my heart, the flame of my love. I found baking these cookies to be a great therapy that healed and nourised my soul and so I baked more than one serving, and put them out there for whoever wanted a bite... and when I did I found that a lot more folks liked my cookies too.
Today, and everyday, from here on out, let love speak through your actions, and let your dreams and passions speak through your art -- a simple note, a painting, a dish, a garden, a song... it really doesn't matter
what you do if you do it with love... anything done with heart is a work of art.
We are all children, deep inside. No matter what age, our youth remains. Think about how we all want to get away from constraints and structures, how we all come together through music, and laughter... and think about how much it hurts not to be able to express ourselves freely, to not have someone listen to us, and not to get the attention we need. We can feed this child with love or leave it hungry and longing. We can hide this child or expose it, sometimes, we even forget we are this child... it's really up to us. It's one of the few choices that define us.
My goal is to live each day of my life with an open mind and an open heart because being receptive to all things and simply making sense of it all--that I build experience. My goal is to give as much of who I am and and embrace as much of what the universe has to offer, because experience, no matter how harsh or kind, is the only teacher. It is the only way to grow and to become who I am in my eyes and in the eyes of the world ... It is my life, my truth, and the only thing my Soul can own, and carry 'til death and thereafter.
When we listen from our hearts, we do not just hear what is being said, we hear what is not being said too. When we listen from our hearts, we understand. When this happens, we dissolve our fears, because we only fear what we do not understand.
GIVE PEACE A CHANCE. And I'm not talking about world peace right now. I'm talking about you -- the one reading this.
I'm talking about taking a conscious and brief effort to silence your mind and clear your thoughts -- those first few minutes in the day, when the earth is still potent with mist, and dewdrops. Or that quiet hour at work, when you are left alone in your area and people have gone out for lunch, or that walk back to the car, or the bus stop maybe, or perhaps the time you reach home, when you can spend a moment by the porch before the sun sets.-- You can do this, before tuning in to the morning news, or taking that phone call, before turning on your computer soon as you get home... Before all of it... Just 5 minutes, might be even less. Close your eyes, breathe in the new-- whatever makes you feel alive in the moment, and breathe out the old-- whatever you feel is not part of you. Let it go.
Give peace a chance. It doesn't take much to make it happen, but it will change your world. It changed mine, and maybe one day... it will change more.
Certain feelings of discontent , tension and restlessness are good so just ride with them. You will know if they're good for you too. Have faith in yourself, all will be well. This is how every caterpillar turns into a butterfly.
If you are confused, if you feel overwhelmed by the surge of energy surrounding you, and penetrating your body, don't worry. Breathe...
Thousands of folks around you are going through the same thing-- and you are lucky, in fact very lucky because you are beginning to understand what's going on with you, and you know that you have the ability to channel this energy in a positive manner. And even if you don't know how to channel it, sooner or later, you will, because there are many who exist within your realm who are there for the sole purpose of guiding you. You will recognize them, and accept them in your life, because you will resonate with their energies, you will feel their presence, and warmth, and best of all, you will begin to see yourself in them.
There will be people around you who are not aware, or unconscious. Do not judge them, for you have attracted them in your life, no matter how disconnected they may seem from your reality there will be something about you that you will see and learn from them. Allow them to live their truth and clear out the roadblocks until such time they discover the Gift. They will discover the Gift. Sooner or later everyone will.
There is no need to worry, you are becoming more sensitive only because you are opening your eyes, your mind, your heart and every part of who you are -- to the Universe. You will tap into every potential of your awakened spirit... You will realize that your heart can lead you to places where you thought had never existed....You will become a creative force, and you will dream, and when one dreams, anything is possible.
You are more powerful than you think you are, and if you haven't done so, you will discover that YOU are the GIFT, and gifts, as you know, are meant to be shared. You are slowly revealing your divinity, your inner flame, and light so you can shine and finally see through the darkness-- the darkness that is also a part of you, the darkness that is just as significant in of the shaping of your spirit, as the light that is in you.
You have ignited the spark of God in you. You will start to see with eyes of passion. You will find the need to share this divine gift and lead the world to see themselves in you just as you did the first time you reached out to the Universe. You will find yourself taking that conscious step to understand the laws of the universe as you realize that your thoughts and feelings greatly affect its natural equilibrium. And you will do everything in your power to preserve Life and protect this Universe because you are part of this Life force. You are the Universe.
Recently a very close friend of mine shared a beautiful video called "Children Full of Life" filmed in Japan. (See link below) It is about this amazing teacher who encourages his students to write real experiences in a notebook and share it in class. In doing so the kids learn compassion, empathy and the grace of their sharing. Such a pleasure to see these 10 year old kids open their hearts and lift each other, some came from very sensitive, life-shattering experiences.
This inspired me to write about trapped emotions, how important it is to find a healthy release of unwanted feelings, and how essential it is to share our own painful experiences to those who are willing to listen as they may be purged of their own pains and all can heal each other in the process.
I know how important it is to live in the present, but I've learned that there comes a point in our lives that we really need to go a few steps back to see if there was anything left unsettled... So we can free ourselves from the ball and chain that we carry over to the present day.
I've learned too that no man is an island, and that people need to reach out and see oneself in another. Empathy, compassion and kindness is the way to a meaningful existence.
To those who may not know, I am a single mom. My 5 year old daughter Kaya has been the most wonderful gift , and being a mother has given my soul much fulfillment, joy and learning. I never really talked about the father, and I didn't find the need to do that until today. My relationship with him was far from perfect, but it was instrumental in the shaping of my soul too. We were together for 6 years, before we realized that we no longer share the same reality, and decided to part ways. Half of this time with him was spent with Kaya. The first few years we spent apart were marked with conflict, blame and anger.
It took us a while to realize that in keeping our grudges alive the only one who truly suffers in the end will be our daughter. I took the first step and forgave him, soon after, he did the same and we remain friends to this day. We both agreed to move past our differences and focus on only one thing, our child -- to dedicate our lives in being the best parents that we can be, and to make certain that she knows how much she is loved. Since then, we have both moved on and life has been more harmonious on both ends.
It wasn't easy getting to this point, but we made it, and we're both proud of it. But just when I thought we were all good and things were more prosperous, came a new challenge. How to tell Kaya that there is someone else in daddy's life. You see , in the years I spent taking care of my child on my own I never showed her my grief and sadness because I chose to be a source of joy, as it should always be. I kept telling her, when she would look for her daddy, that he was just on a long vacation. I thought it best to hide the real situation and told myself that someday, when she is old enough she will get it, and understand it all for herself. But when she turned 5, she started asking so many questions I never thought she would be asking at her age. It was then that I finally took up the courage to confront my fears of seeing her hurt. I could no longer stand making up stories about our situation. I promised myself that the next time she asks, I will tell her the truth. And she did. She asked me when daddy was going to come home, and I told her that he was never coming back home, and that there is someone else in his life now, but it doesn't mean he loves her less. In fact he loves her more. We both love her more.
I watched as she listened intently, she didn't show any sign of anger, she didn't even cry, but she looked confused, I saw in her face how she was trying so hard to grasp the idea, eventually she spoke and asked one question-- "Why?".
As a mother this really gripped my heart... I wanted to comfort her and explain what had happened, without bringing up the hard issues and without painting an ugly picture of her father, because we were both at fault, and I have forgiven him since ---no matter what happens he will always be in her life. ... So this is what I told her:
"Kaya you see we are all fruits, but daddy found out that he is an orange and mommy found out that she is an apple. So he kinda needs to be with another orange and now, he found that orange. But guess what, you're special, because you are half an orange and half an apple."
I don't know how she got it, but she did, and then she nodded her head and said , "Ohhhhh ok ok!" so nonchalantly, she even smiled before she left the room to play outside. Wow, that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, I thought. She actually came out of it better than any other child would. At least I thought she did.
A few weeks later, I was putting her to sleep and told her that she needs to wake up early because daddy will pick her up the next day to spend a day with him in his new house, with his new wife. And the unexpected happened, her face turned red, and she looked hurt, and mad, she turned her back on me and said "Hmmph! I don't want to see her. I only want to be with my daddy! No one else!!"
I didn't ask her why she said these things, after we already discussed the issue. I knew exactly what was wrong. So I said,
"Hey... I know how you feel...and I'm sorry things turned out like this, I cried a lot once too... and I want you to know that if you want to cry , you can do that too. It's okay to cry to mommy."
I sensed it right. The moment I said that she turned her head around my way and hugged me and started to cry, just like any little girl would cry. She poured her heart out, and I saw it so clearly, her little heart in every little tear flowing down her little cheeks... I started to cry too. She told me how much she misses her daddy. And I told her how much he misses her too.
Imagine at 5 years old, she was capable hiding such strong emotions... I was amazed at how, at such a young age she was already willing to do this, not because she wanted to lie.But rather because she knew what was more important. Joy, and Happiness. She hid the pain because it was not her. But it was still trapped somewhere in her , she never let it go ... this is why she reacted this the way she did. The fear that she tried to hide was activated when a trigger set it off, and I pulled that trigger. I'm glad I did, because that night, when we were both crying, we let go of something that was not a part of us, and I felt us shifting, we had given our souls a new found freedom.
When the time arrived for her to meet her dad's wife she was ready, and she saw her as a friend, not a stranger or an enemy, but a part of her life. Just recently she gave birth to a baby girl, yes Kaya is now a big sister. She was so thrilled... and she loves her so much she is all she can ever talk about , and she would always count the days til she sees her baby sister again. She goes to visit them every weekend.
One night before we slept we said our usual prayer to our Guardian Angels and she added something "and dear angels please don't forget to find an apple for mommy."
That night, I shed another tear, not one of sadness but one that springs from waves of joy for hearing what she had just said, and for knowing that my little squeeze is happy and her little heart will be okay.
It is always easy to fight back when you are insulted, criticized, ridiculed or challenged in any way. In the end though, the ultimate victim of your anger is you. If you are not being treated right, don't waste your energy on revenge. Revenge is a conscious effort to repeat the same mistakes done in the past. You have the power to break this pattern. You have the means to resolve this without lifting a finger or creating noise. Take a step back and observe. Let the strength of your silence encourage the other to look inward. Sooner or later, that person will realize that there is no enemy but himself or herself, and rest in the fact that you do not need to explain or defend yourself, because you owe that person nothing-- absolutely nothing.
If I could pledge my Love
I'd write it in the wind
So all the trees
Can share the blessing
And bare fruit So all the birds can catch it
And make melodies
That ride in the air
Reaching the clouds
And worlds beyond
Where only the stars will know
There is a saying that goes, "People come into our lives for a reason, a season, and a lifetime." It's true, and comforting in a sense... but dangerously limiting.
I once reveled in this thought, but then it begged the question, "How does anyone know this until one has lived a lifetime?" When I carried this thought along with me, I had to constantly look at relationships as objects, factoring them in each category, I wondered who among the people in my world fits which box, and in the end it left me suffering not knowing. I realized how much it was feeding my ego.
I took a step away from this reality and it helped me release unwanted thoughts, and emotions. So I started thinking that people just come into my life, period. Regardless of reason, and season... and duration. And that put things into greater perspective. People WILL come... I will always be surrounded by like Spirits, Young and Old Souls, friends, family, acquaintances... I am never alone. Someone will be there for me. It doesn't matter who it is really. It only matters that there will always be someone there to share life with... Someone I may travel with, someone I may learn from, someone I may fall in love with, someone I may grow old with. I welcome each one who comes with the thought in mind that they will come and they will go , and I will honor the time spent with them. I will have no regrets. Everyone will serve a purpose in my life, no matter how big or small. Everyone is a teacher... and every encounter an opportunity for me to uncover the Truth and Divinity hidden in my Soul. Juno
I have come to a point where I feel that this journey isn't about finding our path, the path is already there, it was forged long before we came into existence. I feel that this journey is about clearing the path of the many roadblocks that we have built in time, clear enough so we may walk the distance, and find ourselves in the end.
My awakening began at a time when I was pulled away from the city, to a place where there were more hills and trees, than there were houses, where butterflies came to visit me every morning, and where flowers grew on every corner. I was jobless, but Nature made it so easy for me to walk away from all that used to matter to me. It was then that I realized that nothing happens by chance, and I came to that place for a reason. To be reunited with the Earth, with my roots, with God. When I felt the sun hug me, and the wind kiss my hair, and when the trees started to speak to me I came alive, more alive than I ever felt, and I was no longer alone. It was beautiful. And suddenly I felt a growing need to give back to the Universe everything that it has given me. I felt my Soul grow. No one can ever take that moment away from me... and even though I left that place and moved back to the city I never forgot what Nature had done for me. It had given me the perfect gift... and I carry this gift along with me to this day. This Gift of Love... It is a gift that we can keep and share. It is a sign that God is there.
When you finally find the Love of your Life, whether or not that person is physically present in your life, as long as you know this person exists, you will understand the Universe. You will trust the Universe. Your steadfast and unconditional love for each other will fill your heart, and sooner or later you will understand too that this is the Spark of God's Wisdom, the Light of God's Truth. You will have freedom. All fears will go away. You will no longer be afraid. You will come alive. Your Soul will go on... for you will know that death is just a space between the sunset and the dawn.
When we were children , we loved as if we knew exactly what love meant. It was never a mystery. We knew how much we needed it in our lives. We received it with open arms. Without question, without doubt. We gave it away as if it were a gift, and we never ran out of gifts. We were happy to give.
I can't help but think that as we grow older, we tend to forget all this, we began to build so many boundaries... And for many of us Love has been deduced to an object, an aspect of life that limits us, instead of a force that ignites peace and liberates the world. For many of us it is no longer a truth, but a question... a conquest, not a blessing to be shared by all... a privilege , not a right....a way to manifest ownership. We no longer see it in the realm of fact rather, in the realm of fiction.
How we all started believing we lost it, and in which part of this journey we thought it was lost--- it doesn't matter really. What matters is that we know what it means to our life, right now. What matters is that we know that we all came from a place of love, and we know that we never lost it. We've always had it. It never dies, people just walk away from it. We forget.
We must remember that LOVE IS HERE.
If we only knew our hearts better, we would see this, and how real it is.
If you are lonely, depressed, if you can't sleep at night, if you find yourself emotionally drained take this moment to reflect on these four aspects of the human psyche, and manifestations of the ego.
Often, expectations obstruct you to see beyond problems, to find alternatives, to challenge norm, and to embrace the new. We set so many expectations that lead to disharmony, distrust, doubt and lack of faith in each other. Expectations are, more often than not, stagnant rules, preconceived to bring comfort rather than encourage us to step out of the comfort zone. Expectations are limitations.Often, pain is just a clash of expectation and reality. A lot of the pain that you are dealing with are really only thoughts.Often, most of your sufferings are due to grasping for what you cannot reach -- for what you desire. A lot of our sufferings are self inflicted. Often, you are afraid of the unfamiliar things when it is familiar things that destroy you. Fear obstructs you from the path you need to take, making life more difficult every time you repeat the same mistake, because you cannot accept or transcend your faults.Fear encourages you to draw up illusions of what you want to see when you are in the dark. It freezes you in this moment, paralyzing you until you can no longer walk towards your dream.Your mind is the true master of illusions, the magician ...Pain, Expectations, Desire, and Fear are the main cast members of the greatest illusion, the greatest "show" on earth. If you cannot rid yourself of them you must learn to control them in ways only you know how. Why? because you ARE your mind. You ARE the director, the cast member, of the greatest show on earth. You ARE the greatest show on earth!... You must remember that you hold the key to your freedom from this illusion this prison...You must remember that you have the power to transcend your fears. This in mind, you can start writing your own reality today. But first, seek refuge in your higher self, in God... Keep looking within... Don't stop. This is a lifelong endeavor, and the process of growth is eternal. When you do this, when you let go of expectations and clear your mind, when you start living in the present moment, you can break the chains of the past, and you can walk towards the dream.And when you finally learn to distinguish fantasies from dreams... You will sleep better at night.
"People give flowers as presents because flowers contain the true meaning of Love. Anyone who tries to possess a flower will have to watch its beauty fading. But if you simply look at a flower in a field, you will keep it forever, because the flower is part of the evening, and the sunset and the smell of damp earth and the clouds on the horizon."
I noticed how, these past few months a great surge of energy falls upon me before the coming of a storm, or before the full moon rises, in some cases I feel like my head is going to burst, I get dizzy, and extremely agitated.
When I asked a few people what the hell was happening to me, I get different interpretations, and that brought me to a state of fear and confusion and I felt chaos inside. So I just stopped asking or researching altogether and submitted to the fact that this is The Way of Nature, The Way of the Universe, The Way of God.
When I internalized, and when I followed my intuition, I realized I wasn't really going through anything special or peculiar, and my sensations are heightened only because I have opened my heart wider... to the universe, and so I am more vulnerable to its messages. It's always sending me messages. I just never paid much attention. It has always communicated with me, I just didn't acknowledge, for I was not conscious at the time it spoke to me.
So with this I kind of understand now why dogs howl the way they do, and how animals can channel each other, its because they communicate through emotions, through heart. So they KNOW. They LISTEN to Nature... and the UNDERSTAND. Even the tides change when the moon changes... Everything we feel inside is really a manifestation of what we see and feel around us... and vice versa. Nature is a great teacher indeed...
When I stopped asking, I started getting the answers I needed... I listened... and understood. I knew it all along. It's around me, and within me. So every time I feel these energy surges again, I sit down and give thanks, for the message I have received, for this divine discernment and say to myself: "Let Nature take her course." That's the only way. Everything changes, and passes. I have accepted this and it has proven true for the rest of days like this. And this has given me the strength, and peace inside, so I may go on with this wild wild journey called LIFE.